Shooting away life
The other day I had a really weird and frightening dream. It all started at a party where one of my friends who usually has way too much to drink began a crazed shooting spree. He killed almost everyone in sight. The dream shifted and the drunken friend morphed into another male alcoholic I know who while the scene shift to my father’s house out in the country. This alcoholic was also shooting and killing everyone in sight. By the end of the dream, a friend and I were being chased by the maniacal killer, who had change for the third time into different male alcoholic. As the friend and I increased the distance between ourselves and the killer, he stopped chasing us and instead killed himself. As all of this happened I had the realization that the killer somehow had the power to make us live very boring and meaningless lives. By letting us live, he also had the power of killing us, but instead killing us physically he killed our happiness.
The interesting thing about this dream is that while I was very frightened of dying in the physical sense, the doom really hit when I came under the realization that I was going to live a very dull and joyless life. It made me think about whether we should be more afraid of death or just of an unlived life.
Your dream scared me! But your last statement has buried itself me: “It made me think about whehter we should be more afraid of death or just an unlived life.” Wow. “An unlived life.” I’m reading Thomas Merton right now and find his inner struggles and intellectual articulation of them to be very inspiring. I was reminded of those readings when I read this sentence of yours. THanks for sharing.
When you told me about this dream the other day, you didn’t mention all the details. That’s really intense. Of course, the scholar in me wants to dissect your dream and the deeper meanings behind all of the killer’s being alcoholics. The college student in me, though, wants to give you a hug and a shot glass.